Srivathsan Nadadhur
Actor, Kuchipudi dancer Haleem Khan has been straddling two distinct worlds in the creative space for many years now. While he’s made a name for himself as a female impersonator in dance, slipping into the skin of several female mythological characters with utmost grace in several shows, the movie world greeted him with a slew of projects like Nuvvila, Action 3D, Saradaga Ammayitho and Adavi Kachina Vennela. He’s had several highs and lows in his both career choices, but here he is, trying to put up a brave front in handling these challenging times and doing his bit for the needy. Klapboardpost.com catches up with Haleem Khan….
Being an actor in the times of COVID-19
As an actor, you have two kinds of difficulties – one about finding work and the other is the scenario where you’ve been offered a film and you’re waiting for it to fall in place. Getting films is already a difficult process. This is a time when a role that fell in your lap and that you would have prepared for, is being pushed away. Fates change within seconds in the film industry. One doesn’t know if things will remain the same even if shoots resume. How do you feel secure? Stars are at certain liberty to start their shoot when the time is right, however other actors don’t have that cushion. Actors are always forced to abide by this quote ‘Out of sight is out of mind’, which has created a lot of vacuum in the journey of many.
Staying posed during a rough patch
Some time ago, I’ve been cast and removed from big and medium-budgeted projects, including my own biopic that was put on hold and which was supposed to be a directed by a renowned Bollywood director in Hindi. Whenever you’ve worked hard for any project, you’ve invested a lot of emotion into it. When it goes away, it’s like losing a part of your life, a pillar that has fallen. I still stayed calm. If this (lockdown) goes on a long time, one may just survive but can’t be strong. I am checking with my fellow artistes, makeup team now and then, talking to them and asking if there’s anything that I can do. The amount may not matter, I’m healing myself in this process and that there’s someone to care for them. Deep inside, I’m telling the same thing to myself.
Vulnerable phase for dance fraternity
I genuinely feel the dancer community is more vulnerable than musicians in this hour. Even as we communicate over the phone or sing in a concert, it is done through words and one can follow the voice. Dance concerts, classes are much more complicated – the place needs to be right and expansive, the camera may not capture the performance completely. Only top-notch dance gurus do it, but what are the reasons that drive them? Is it to stay in touch with dance or to view it as a substitute for a performance in the auditorium? Are they getting paid for it? Is it to prove to the world that they’re performing? When many in the classical fraternity are dying of hunger, a few are celebrating their false image. We dancers have ruined our careers by doing hundreds of free performances. It is being viewed as a career where one can’t make our families financially sustainable. Desperation has to get out of a dancer’s mind and one has to trust their calibre to progress in their careers.
Self-respect viewed as arrogance
It has been 367 days since I’ve performed. It may be due to a creative vacuum, the reasons may be personal, some professional. Even the 368th day that I had performed, it was a 10-minute pre-recorded performance, followed by a speaker note for an event hosted by Hyderabad based corporate firm. I have got offers to perform during the pandemic, but when I have asked for money, they have either stopped taking my calls or informed that they’d got a replacement. Organisers still want dancers to perform for free. I am a professional in my space and I can’t do it for free. The dancer community views this as arrogance, but this is out of sheer self-respect.
Helping the needy
I have collaborated with my fellow dancers, including US-based Kuchipudi guru Lakshmi Babu to help a bunch of families. We have adopted 10-20 families for three months. In Telangana, we have arranged grocery kits for about 40 people, including makeup man, stylists, theatre artistes. We’ve done that in Guntur too and we’re helping four senior Kuchipudi teachers who have no earning member in the family or any way of even taking an online class. We’re helping with Rs 2000 per family besides providing them grocery kits.
On the road ahead for dancers
Public performances are not likely to happen even for a year. The world perceives that stage performances are patronised when the public is happy and content. The entire world is in a panic situation now; nobody is in a mood to go to a cultural venue for the coming months. Online teaching is very tricky; it’s not at all simple, but a dancer needs to stick to it. Even if dancers were to resume regular classes soon, they can take a lesser number of batches. Wearing a mask is an idea one shouldn’t ignore. Dance students need to come together to take care of their gurus in some form, share responsibility. It took me time to do it, but it’s possible.
Entertainment for some sanity
The first couple of months in the lockdown was all about binge-watching Netflix, Amazon Prime shows, some fun and even dance-related movies. I made myself stronger by watching movies and shows which never really gave me the thought of the world around us. It silenced my mind and didn’t want to think about anything for a while, free of worries. I have always maintained that K Viswanath’s movies inspire me a lot, particularly Sagara Sangamam and Swarna Kamalam. I have watched them at least three-four times during lockdown. Umrao Jaan, Navrang, Mughal E Azam and many other old Telugu movies were part of my streaming playlist. I watched a lot of videos that gave me a new insight into dance. Though I was initially against TikTok, I did a few TikTok videos as well which of course were in private mode.
(Readers willing to contribute to Haleem Khan’s cause for the artiste fraternity can donate to the account mentioned below.
Bank: IDBI
Name: HALEEM SK
Account Number: 0872104000043218
IFSC code: IBKL0000872
Branch: JUBILEE HILLS
He can also be reached at haleem.hrkhan@gmail.com)
